


and i drive myself crazy

by busted_aesthetic



Category: GOT7
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Body Worship, Bottom Choi Youngjae, First Time, M/M, Smut, Top Im Jaebum, insecure Youngjae, this is all porn with a slim amount of angst i mean
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-28
Updated: 2019-05-28
Packaged: 2020-03-20 14:37:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,139
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18994600
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/busted_aesthetic/pseuds/busted_aesthetic
Summary: Youngjae's broken but Jaebum is right there to pick up the pieces.





	and i drive myself crazy

**Author's Note:**

> Hii,
> 
> Enjoy this fic even though it's a little sad. 
> 
> Happy readin',  
> ~busted_aesthetic

Youngjae had been in the bathroom too long and Jaebum was worried. He leaned against the door and knocked. They had to be down in the lobby in an hour to leave for another interview tacked onto their schedule. 

He knew Youngjae had been off since the interview the day before. Comments were thrown about Youngjae that made Jaebum’s skin crawl. 

_ “Youngjae, fans have noticed your weight gain have you-” _

_ The interviewer could not get the rest of the question out before Jaebum spoke up on behalf of Youngjae.  _

_ “Next question,” Jaebum said.  _

_ Jaebum noticed Yugyeom turned back to look at Youngjae who was seated behind them between Jackson (who was more offended than anyone) and Jinyoung (who was ready to pounce). _

_ Youngjae had this nervous smile on his face as his eyes flickered over to their staff and Jaebum knew why.  _

_ They approved the questions.  _

“Youngjae,” Jaebum said through the wood of the door, “are you okay?”

He heard a sniffle and then the door opened. Jaebum’s heart ripped in two. 

Youngjae sobbed in front of him, “What if I am fat? What if I am as heavy as people say I am?”

“Youngjae.” Jaebum had a pout to his lip, feeling for his boyfriend in front of him. 

The two were in a recent relationship although it had not surprised anyone. They had spent since their trainee days skirting around each other like lost puppies. Youngjae and Jaebum would kiss occasionally when they shared a mattress on the floor at the dorms. Cuddling and make outs would occur, especially when tensions got high. 

Jaebum had taken the responsibility to ask Youngjae out when Jinyoung had snapped at him one day for ‘leading Youngjae on’. Bambam just  _ had  _ to clap at the comment as if he applauded a prize winner. It made Jaebum roll his eyes but the moment he asked Youngjae, the other said yes with a beaming smile that Jaebum won’t forget. 

Now, that smile had vanished. His lip quivered as he cried. 

“Jaebum, say something,” Youngjae begged him

Jaebum had Youngjae cry into his chest as he whispered to him, “You’re so gorgeous, Youngjae. Your body is a wet dream. People just need to pick you apart because of how talented you are. It’s disgusting. You have no idea what I wanted to do yesterday when they asked you that. I’m so sorry, I feel like I failed you.”

“You didn’t.” Youngjae sniffled.

“Still, you know I would do anything to make this pain go away.”

Jaebum could feel vibrations fall on his chest from Youngjae’s mouth. 

“Hm?” Jaebum prompted him to repeat what he said. 

Youngjae looked up at Jaebum with tears glossed over his eyes like broken glass. He was firm when he spoke.

“Fuck me.”

Jaebum’s eyebrows shot up in surprise. Youngjae had been emotional all day and he had been down. This was a surprising request.

“We’ve never-”

“I know.” Youngjae sniffled and stepped back from Jaebum. He wiped underneath his eyes before he said, “I want you.”

“Youngjae, no.” Jaebum shook his head, “No way.”

“Why? I want this. Do you not?” Youngjae’s voice got quiet. 

“I do. Trust me, I do.” Jaebum ran a hand back through his hair as he searched his own mind for an explanation. He said, “You’re vulnerable right now. I don’t want you to do this because you’re upset with yourself.”

“I have…” Youngjae stopped himself, his cheeks flushed pink with embarrassment. 

“You have stuff for us to…” Jaebum also was too shy to get the phrase out. 

Jaebum was no blushing virgin but he truly cared for the man in front of him. He wanted this moment to be perfect for the two of them. 

“Please,” Youngjae stepped back into Jaebum’s space, “I want you to make me feel beautiful.”

Jaebum whispered to him, “Youngjae, you are beautiful.” 

He pecked his lips with a soft stroke. He repeated the motion a few times before he licked his bottom lip with his own tongue. Youngjae’s started gasp gave Jaebum room to delve his tongue inside Youngjae’s mouth. He wanted to leave no skin unexplored that night. Youngjae was a willing body against him as he snaked his hands up Youngjae’s chest. He rubbed over his shoulders and Jaebum’s jacket fell of his arms to the floor. 

Jaebum snatched Youngjae’s waistband from his jeans and pulled him even closer. He made quick work of his button and zipper before peeling off his boxers and jeans together. Jaebum peeled off his own shirt and got rid of his own pants. He tossed them aside before he held onto Youngjae’s hips. His hips were covered by the thin material of his shirt which Jaebum wanted to rip off but he wanted this man to be comfortable with him. 

Jaebum backed Youngjae up to the bed before they both tumbled down. 

“Scooch up to the pillow,” Jaebum said before giving him a simple kiss. 

Youngjae turned to stack two pillows up against the headboard to lean back against. His head laid back on the pillow and Jaebum put his hands on either side of Youngjae’s head. He let the elder take the lead. 

Youngjae glanced down at Jaebum’s torso. He had seen this man a number of times shirtless in the dressing room. Or in the shower when Jackson busted down the door for whatever reason and Youngjae caught a glimpse of his silhouette through the steamed shower glass.

Jaebum chuckled, “What are you thinking?

Youngjae linked his fingers behind Jaebum’s neck, “Your body’s nice.”

“Thanks.” Jaebum kissed both of his cheeks, “And yours is stunning.”

Youngjae had a fond smile on his face as Jaebum lowered himself on top of him to kiss his lips. Their lips melded like stars latched onto the night sky for the few hours they could show. It was raw heat that mixed between the two as Jaebum ground down onto Youngjae. 

Jaebum stroked one hand down Youngjae’s clothed chest until he reached the hem. Youngjae tilted up a bit to allow Jaebum to strip him out of his shirt. 

Before Youngjae could wrap his arms around his stomach, Jaebum grabbed his wrists and pinned them down against the pillow. 

Youngjae and Jaebum kissed for what seemed like hours. The two were exposed to each other above the sheets. The heat from the sun trickled against their skin as they moved against each other. 

“You brought lube?” Jaebum made sure with him. Youngjae’s vague sentence earlier was never followed up. He pointed down at his bag on the floor. 

Jaebum leaned off the bed the best he could to search Youngjae’s bag. It did not take long to find a plastic bag with a travel-sized bottle of lube, a box of condoms, and a receipt. 

“You really planned this didn’t you?” Jaebum thought out loud. It comforted him more. He had been worried Youngjae acted on his emotions. Youngjae swallowed hard.

“Yeah.” His chest rose and fell like he had run a marathon. 

Jaebum smirked at him, realizing he had this boy wrapped around his finger now. 

“How about I open you up?” Jaebum said as he popped the cap of the lube open. He applied a generous amount to his middle and ring finger. 

Youngjae’s eyes fluttered shut when Jaebum circled his middle finger around Youngjae’s hole. He buried his nose into the crook of Youngjae’s neck. He pressed his finger in and Youngjae’s mouth dropped open in a loud moan. 

Jaebum had fingered Youngjae before and the feeling was no stranger to him. The intrusion was welcomed at this point in their relationship. Jaebum had never gone farther than fingering him to get him off fast. Youngjae had Jaebum’s warm cock in his mouth several times already. Jaebum wanted to save the moment for when they were both ready. 

After two fingers starting to become not enough, Youngjae whined. 

He bounced down on Jaebum’s fingers, “More.”

Jaebum pecked his mouth. The kiss was messy as Jaebum managed to squeeze in a third finger. 

Youngjae’s face scrunched up. The burn was enough to make him wheeze in. Jaebum peppered kisses across his face. He paid special attention to the mole beneath his eye which made Youngjae giggle. 

“Your laugh is so nice.” Jaebum complimented as he pulled his fingers out. 

Jaebum ripped open a condom pack with his teeth and spit out the foil leftover in his teeth. His bottom jaw jut more when he rolled the condom on. 

“Are you okay?” Youngjae asked him. 

“I don’t want to hurt you is all,” Jaebum said as he lubed up his cock. He groaned at the relief his hand gave him. 

Youngjae’s head tilted at Jaebum’s cock. Jaebum was large in size and Youngjae was unsure how it would fit. He would leave that responsibility up to the man himself. 

Jaebum sat back and pulled Youngjae up. He helped Youngjae straddle his lap. 

Youngjae felt his hard cock against his back. He itched to get it inside of him, “Jaebum…”

“I’ll help you,” Jaebum whispered against his collarbone. 

Youngjae got up on his knees and looked back at Jaebum’s cock. He lowered down, the tip of Jaebum’s cock going inside Youngjae. 

“F...Fuck…” Youngjae’s eyes fluttered shut. 

Despite the sharp pain that stabbed up through him, Youngjae managed to work past it. He slowly lowered down onto Jaebum until he was fully seated. 

Jaebum’s heart pounded against his chest as he saw Youngjae fall apart on top of him. Youngjae had sweat fall from his blue hairline. His mouth was parted in a gorgeous expression. He truly was a god on top of him. 

“Move, baby.” Jaebum encouraged.

“Hurts…” Youngjae set his forehead against Jaebum’s shoulder. 

“It’ll go away, I promise.” He kissed the top of Youngjae’s head as he rubbed up and down the bumps of his spine. 

Youngjae managed to work up to a slow pace. He bounced on top of Jaebum, working up to his own climax.

“Let me take care of you.” Jaebum moaned out, “Fuck, Youngjae, let me take control.”

Youngjae keened at the idea and connected their lips together. Jaebum laid him back down, his head missed the stacked pillows. Their lips smacked hard against each other and spit trailed from their mouths. 

“Moan for me,” Jaebum demanded as he started to slam his cock into him. 

Youngjae did not have to force it. The loud sound of skin slapping and the warm pulse in his stomach had Youngjae a mess. His legs got wider and his moans got louder. 

“T-They’ll hear me,” Youngjae said to Jaebum. He meant the other members. 

The others were getting ready at this hour in the morning. Their rooms were just on the other side of each wall. It was an exception for Mark who wanted the solo room across the hall. 

“Do I care?” Jaebum hissed in his ear. 

Youngjae’s eyes widened for a brief moment at the roughness in his voice. It made Youngjae arch his back up against Jaebum. He was pliant in his hold.

Jaebum let out a dark chuckle, “Damn, I don’t think your legs can get any wider for me.”

He sat back on his heels, his cock stoic inside Youngjae making him squirm. 

Jaebum squeezed Youngjae’s thighs and lowered them down, his knees near his head. Jaebum drilled his cock into Youngjae at record speed. He stroked up Youngjae’s legs, wanting to relish in the beautiful and intimate moment between the two. Beneath the dirty talk and the sweat was a connection Jaebum wanted to keep. 

He really loved this boy. 

“Cum…” Youngjae begged, “I wanna cum.”

“Cum so soon?” Jaebum smiled down at him, “Cute.”

“Jaebum-ah!” Youngjae’s back arched off the bed when Jaebum slammed against his sweet spot, “Harder! I wanna cum!” 

Jaebum listened, “Love hearing you beg for it. You’re so fucking beautiful, Youngjae.”

Youngjae tossed his head to the side and shut his eyes. His stomach tightened and his untouched cock leaked. 

“Do it. Cum all over yourself for me.” Jaebum said before he took Youngjae’s chin in his hands, “Say my name, who did this to you.”

“Jaebum!” Youngjae moaned out as he released across the expanse of his stomach and a few drops onto Jaebum’s. 

Jaebum came after, filling up the condom inside Youngjae. 

It was a prompt clean up, Jaebum did not want to be away from Youngjae too long. He wrapped his arms around Youngjae from behind. He kissed up the back of his neck. They had to leave soon. Their management was down their throats already and he did not want to give them one more thing to stress over. 

However, he wanted this moment with Youngjae to never leave, so they were a few minutes late getting down to the lobby that day.

**Author's Note:**

> Tumblr: @busted-aesthetic
> 
> POSITIVE comments encourage writers! Be sure to leave a comment on anything you read that you like. So, if you like, leave me one below to reply to. I love talking to my readers <3


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